Monthly Archives: December 2013

Book Review: It Doesn’t Have To Be That Way

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Book Cover

Laura Wasser is a divorce lawyer in California whose clients include a bevy of Hollywood celebrities, but don’t hold her association with Kim Kardashian (and now apparently, Khloe) against her.  I was skeptical of the advice of a divorce lawyer with clients who seem to marry and divorce as almost a hobby.  What would this Hollywood lawyer say that would have any relevance to my clients in North Carolina?  The answer is:  plenty.  In It Doesn’t Have to Be That Way:  How to Divorce Without Destroying Your Family or Bankrupting Yourself, Ms. Wasser gives wise, practical advice about how to move through the process of ending your marriage without ruining your life or your children’s lives.

Wasser’s book is not about dishing celebrity dirt — it’s about her advice on moving through each stage of the divorce process.  She pays special attention to keeping the process as cost-effective as possible and helping people reframe the way they see their fading relationships.  She is matter-of-fact, and although I suspect that nobody would agree with everything she says about relationships (I don’t!), her insight is valuable.  She is especially good when talking about co-parenting with an ex (or several exes), since she is open about her own experiences raising kids with two exes.  Among the topics Wasser covers in the book:

  • Knowing when you should divorce
  • Separating
  • Finding a lawyer
  • Custody
  • Spousal support
  • Child support
  • Dividing assets and liabilities
  • Settlement

California law is quite different from North Carolina divorce and family law in some respects.  Wasser nevertheless does a good job of addressing the divorce process and what to expect in a way that does apply to North Carolina families.  I recommend this book to those thinking about divorce or already in the middle of the process.  Not every piece of advice in the book will apply to each person’s situation, and North Carolina law differs in some ways from what she discusses, but overall this is a good primer on how divorcing works, how you can manage it, and how you can thrive when it’s behind you.

*Note: This book is available in my firm’s library for clients to borrow as needed, along with other books on divorce and family law issues.

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Dial 2-1-1

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This isn’t specifically a family law topic, but it is definitely a resource that could be helpful to many families in crisis.  Thus, I thought I would share some information that I learned this week.  I had no idea that this resource existed, so please forgive me if you are more clued-in than I.  We’ve all heard of dialing 311, 411, and of course 911.  Did you know that dialing 211 in Catawba County and counties across the state will connect you to a multitude of resources in the community?  The United Way of North Carolina is the state sponsor of the service, and the organization and its local partners provide callers with access to a vast network of NC community health and human service resources.

As you can see from the brochure snapshot above, the service helps connect callers (and visitors to the website) to organizations that can help provide basic needs like food pantries, counseling, senior services, smoking cessation resources, and even volunteer opportunities.  As the website states, “the first step in finding help is knowing who to call.”  The phone line is free, confidential, always open, and available in other languages.  We are fortunate to have this resource available here in Catawba County, as well as the surrounding counties — Burke, Caldwell, Alexander, Iredell, and Lincoln counties are all covered as well.

This holiday season, if you find yourself (or someone you know) in need of resources from heating assistance to transportation to child care, calling 211 or visiting nc211.org is a good way to start looking for help.  Also, if you’re looking for a way to get involved in the community and volunteer during the Christmas season and beyond, you can find local organizations looking for assistance at 211 as well.  Please help spread the word that this valuable resource is available to North Carolinians!